Smiling again!

I'm noticing that after every big meltdown comes a period where life is super-easy, and this calm period is outlasting any others to this point so far. Not to say that we haven't been without our challenges ...Its just that our challenges seem very small compared to others that we've faced prior to now. Ben is more affectionate and settled than ever. We're talking more than we've ever done up till now. His English continues to improve daily, and there is no doubt that the more he's able to communicate, the easier life becomes. The last few days he's had a lot of questions, and has fully understood the answers. Its not to say that he's without confusion, because there's still a lot of confusion ... but its getting so much easier.

We've been enjoying the sunshine and the pool and Ben's tan lines are more obvious than ever. He also has a little dry spot of skin on each cheek. He's still a fanatic about his lotion, and we had a little chat while applying the lotion in the bathroom yesterday morning ... Ben thought his little white spots of dry skin meant that now he was in America he was finally turning white. I told him that no .... that was just how his skin healed, and that in a little while the spots would be beautiful and dark like the rest of him, and he was very disappointed. I think he thinks that all of the kids originally came from India and looked like him, and that now after being here a while they're white. That let to quite a conversation .... I told him that in India, EVERYONE has beautiful dark skin like him, and that thats a good thing. He was a little unsure. I reminded him gently that his "tummy mummy" looked just like him, and the way he looked was PERFECT. I love him just the way he is, and I want for him to love himself exactly the way he is too....

For all the steps forward that we are taking, there are still things that happen daily to remind me that with Ben we can't take anything for granted. He's still struggling with Georgia being in New Zealand, and is confused that she's not home yet. Initially he thought that she'd gone to India, and was very sad. I really thought that he understood she was in NZ on holiday, but apparently he wasn't so sure. Yesterday a friend bought her 13 yr old daughter Ann out to visit, and a couple of hours after they arrived Ben asked if we were keeping Ann instead of Georgia. I told him that no, Georgia was family forever, just like him, and that Ann and her Mummy were just visiting for a short while. He seemed surprised, but definitely relieved. There is no doubt that he misses his biggest sister and is excited now to go to the airport to welcome her back home.

We're planning on heading to the beach for a few days right after Georgia gets home, and we've been doing a lot of talking about that. He's been to the beach before, but has never spent a night anywhere other than right here at home. I keep telling him how much fun we'll have sleeping over at the beach and he's pretty excited. All he wants to know is if "Mummy/Daddy/Georgia/Cassie/Molly/Maddie/Darwin/Adelaide" are going. (that would be the whole family, inclusive of puppies) ... and I tell him, that yep, we'll ALL be there. Truthfully the puppies I'm not sure about ... I want to take them so badly and I know that they'd be fine, but given we can only stay at the RV if J's dad is there (due to new rules by the woman thats running the campground), we kinda have to get his approval to take the dogs, and thats not going to be easy. Of course I lean more towards just showing up with them and dealing with the backlash, but J doesn't think the same way I do. I have a couple of weeks to convince everyone that the dogs will be no trouble, but its not going to be easy. In the meantime we're talking about the fun things we'll be doing, like catching crocodiles (crabs), and flying kites.

We get constant giggles out of Bens language skills, and because this diary is being kept for him I keep telling myself I need to keep a note of some of the things he's saying/doing, that I know he'll get a giggle out of himself once he's older.... Here are a few...

Pop-pickles = popsicles
Nice butt! = an awesome way to get attention and a big step up from "you farted" ... (he initally tried this one out on my regional manager ..thank God she has a sense of humour!)
Shake the boolie = a great way to make the dogs wag their tails before giving them a treat
I lub you = My most favourite thing to hear
Melee Mummy's baby boy =My other most favourite thing to hear
I chose YOU, Mummy = See list regarding favourite things above
Holy Loly = Reserved for only good and exciting things
Potty le lee, Dotty le lee = I have no idea, but its obviously a good thing!
Pooching and lubs = Kisses and loves


I think we've turned an important corner in the bonding process. He tells me openly now how happy he is to be my boy and to have a Mummy. We had to go to the Doctor earlier in the week because he had swimmers ear , and when it came time for the Dr to look in his ear, he reached for me and patted the bed beside him. I sat there and reassured him that it wouldnt hurt while he gripped my hand for dear life. To know that he's wanting me for comfort and reassurance like that was HUGE. This is the same Dr that saw us when we first got home and he had his bad cough, and what she had to say about our progress was very complimentary. She told me that she couldnt believe he was the same child ... that upon our first visit all she could think after we left was that "this woman had taken on so much with that child". She reminded me of how scared he was on those first visits ..how he wouldnt talk and wouldnt make eye contact. This time around he was giggly and happy, into everything, and even gave her a hug on the way out. Her words as we left were "You are doing an amazing job with that child"... My reply was that I couldn't take all the credit for that ... His sisters are doing an amazing job, and Ben is doing an amazing job.

I'm just the lucky one who gets to call herself Mummy.