Its not that I've forgotten to write ... Its just that my brain is still trying to come to terms with all that my heart has felt over the last few days. I will put up a post ... and try my best to keep it relatively unedited .... but just not yet. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. In it I'll be sure to include his goodbye party, our departure from India, meeting his sisters, and how we're doing now that we're home.
He's feeling the loss, and he's grieving. I think I'm grieving too. His loss was beyond huge, and in some ways it hurts that its our gain. Here he is, this tiny little oversized baby and hes trying so hard. Hes happy, then he's sad. He loves me, ... then he's glaring at me like the kidnapper I feel like I am sometimes. He's just old enough to be able to comprehend some of what is going on in his little life, and yet he's too young to truly understand.
He's as deep as the ocean. He has a smile that could light up half the planet, and yet his tears drip off his chin. He is so incredibly real, and I'm in awe of him. He is just so very very brave, and I'm trying to be brave too. I want to cry for him, with him... I hold him so close and so tight and wish there was some way that he could trust me and know that this is forever. Its going to take time...
And we have a lot of time....
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